The Bent Wizards of Hogwarts

Old Holborn December 17, 2013 2
The Bent Wizards of Hogwarts

 Well that didn’t take long, did it? After being released from a nine month prison sentence for theft (of which he served just a quarter), Baron Hanningfield runs back to his non elected post in the House of Lords to suck greedily at the teat of the State that has been so benevolent to him. Clocking in, grabbing the £300 daily allowance and then minutes later wandering off to proclaim his innocence to anyone who would listen. The Mirror has the scoop, of course (ex Tory Lord) but in all honesty we already know that the practice of carpet bagging the allowances is rampant at Westminster Palace and will continue to be so as only they have the power (and not the will) to stop it.

I’ve never been a fan of the bloated system installed at Westminster. A pantomime that begins at birth with a nanny, then orf to a Hogwarts-esque boarding school to be buggered senseless by posh bullies, followed by a term at the fabled halls of Oxbridge eating roast swan from gilded platters and studying communism. Selected from a short list of one (thanks Pater) and automatic entry into the weird and wonderful world of the Royal Palace of Westminster where men in tights offer you snuff and oily lobbyists grease your palms in return for your immortal soul and brown envelopes full of cash. In the finale of this Harry Potter charade, you get to wear ermine in “the other place” and fall asleep drunk on subsidised claret convinced that you have become a Grand Wizard and statues will be raised in your honour, as long as you keep voting whatever a minute gang of political party whips instruct you to dodder over and tick the box against.

Is this really the best we can do? Party cronies, failed civil servants, those who went to the “proper” schools and wear the right school ties stuffing bursting brown envelopes into the hands of Party treasurers are rewarded by standing as the final bastion of our faux democracy? All that stands between a totalitarian state and us is a few dozing senile geriatrics acting out some medieval costume drama for the sake of American tourists?

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Sorry guys, your procession of the ridiculous has no place in the 21st century let alone a digital society. You are an anachronism of all that has failed in the last 500 years. You do not represent our economy, the real world or us. You are as relevant to life as a dusty and faded exhibit at Euro Disney to be gawped at and admired by the terminally stupid with inherited serf genes and an obsession to tug their own fore locks whilst avoiding eye contact with their beloved “betters”.

It’s time for an elected chamber, with no party membership or affiliations – free of the stench of corruption and sleaze, paid a decent wage to safeguard what little remains of OUR freedoms. Oh, and ex criminals need not apply.

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  • Robert Neve

    The problem is without the house of lords we have nothing to stop the parties in the commons from running all over us. The whips are to strong and the wills are to weak to resist. Ironic as it is in recent memory the lords have protected the people from the commons over such things as 90 day detentions without trial.

  • Yellow Jester

    There was a great deal to be said for a hereditary House of Lords. AT least we might accidentally get members who had some public service ethos, and chances are they would have been properly educated too. The problem with a House based on political patronage is that you end up with career politicians whose only interest is stuffing their snouts in the public trough, facilitated by a lifetime of are-licking. The (dubious) advantage of a hereditary system is that anyone who deliberately seeks power over others is unfit to wield it, but those who come across it by accident of birth have at least some chance of being decent human beings.

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