“If you are reading this, thank a teacher, and thank a soldier that you are not reading this in German” used to be both true and funny once. Alas, it isn’t any more and is quite possibly an arrestable offence to utter such an outrage in modern Britain. Before I land myself in a gulag for daring to have a sense of humour or speak freely, allow me to elaborate.

Firstly, Frau Doktor Angela Merkel has decided that in order to keep herself at the top of the European Union pile, all school children throughout the ever enlarging Empire of Brussels should be instructed in “European Harmony”. No, I’m not joking. Lest we forget, Frau Merkel was raised under the totalitarian regime of East Germany where daily worship of the unelected State Politbüro was not just violently encouraged but a failure to do so would genuinely see you picking turnips at a Collective Farm for the rest of your short, miserable life. Hardly a surprise to see her attempting to use the tried and trusted methods of so many of her predecessors in the indoctrination of a new generation of obedient and compliant serfs – it’ll be fun to see her attempt that on the newly bribed Ukrainians as they rush towards the expensive mirage of “greater democracy and freedom” from a different set of crooks and Oligarchs. Debt and indoctrination lie that way, Comrades – meet the new boss, same as the old boss.

Hurtling along in the background, we discover that our own Masters are rapidly heading down the one way street towards totalitarianism. When not banning or taxing everything, they have decided that this new fangled Internet Thing is far too dangerous to their power than can be handled by the mere laws of the land, so much so, that our Minister for Security has decided that he should be allowed to remove “unsavoury”, rather than illegal, material from online. Again, I’m not joking

In effect, we can no longer do what we like, say what we like or think what we like – we are not to be trusted in any aspect of our pathetic existences – all can be managed by the select few who will now trawl through the Internet simply deleting what is deemed to be a threat to our Glorious Nation.

Our children, will be whisked away at the tender age of 24 months to be instructed in the finer arts of “European Harmony” by licenced State drones, enabling their compliant and obedient parental units to resume their 60 hour weeks at the coal face dedicated to filling the coffers of the State for more bloody wars via taxation, enlargement of the Empire and grandstanding on the global area of Ponzi economics designed to keep us in mild consumer slavery for eternity.

Our masters would do well to keep an eye on the Turkish. Their authoritarian regime is currently shooting students and blanketing half the country in tear gas in order to keep the Internet in lock down and themselves firmly in power. A futile gesture of a dying regime, worthy of Canute himself trying to turn back the tide of a digital tidal wave of freedom, knowledge and individual power. Those of us who still grapple with the enormity of change that the Internet is bringing never really expected our masters to give up literally everything so easily. As our Brussels Unelected are showing, they will rush back to the tried, tested (and subsequently failed) methods so beloved of those who cannot comprehend even the slightest smidgeon of true Freedom – party loyalists smitten by our Political Class politicians and in adoration of the ruthless pursuit of power. Joyful lemmings gleefully hurtling over the cliff of Authoritarianism in the hope they too will be adored by someone, anyone somewhere.

So batten down the hatches folks, this is not going to go away. In the not too distant future, even reading this article online will be at the whim of a State Censor and yours truly will be quietly interred in the Chalk Mines of Godalming for daring to be asked to be left alone. “Say what you like, do what you like, it’s a free country” is the new sedition – “silence him” is the new battle cry. Don’t say I didn’t warn you, Comrades, we’ve all been here before.

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  • J

    Did David Browne write this? I can just hear his voice in my head when reading it.