It’s election time…
I had planned some fantastic April 1st hoaxes for you all today, dear readers. I was going to announce my season ticket to watch Liverpool play at Anfield, my membership of the Socialist Workers Party and my conversion to Salifist Islam but lo and behold, something even more unbelievable has been going on this week that I simply cannot let pass without comment.
Now we are headed towards Polling Day, when the morons decide who gets to rule over their pointless lives and help themselves to half their wages for the next five years, I’ve been keeping an eye out for the classic gaffes that a panicking Politician faced with de-selection or removal from Parliament are always likely to make. I’m not disappointed.
The leaders debates kicked off with my favourite grit in the oyster, Jeremy Paxman, landing blow after blow on the hapless leaders of both the Tory Party and the Labour Party. Neither came out well, but rest assured, that won’t stop them on their relentless pursuit of power – our first past the post faux democracy will ensure that even if 80% of the electorate don’t vote for them, one or the other will be given the keys to Downing Street to do with as they please for the next half decade. What did stand out was a particularly flippant remark from the moronic leader of Labour when quizzed over the leadership contest between him and his admittedly half competent brother David:
“I chose the Party over family”
A cold shudder ran down my spine as the words left his train crash of a mouth.
One of the reasons I write for this esteemed organ is that I stand firmly against any form of collectivism, political, religious or other. I’m pro individual to my very core and the thought of the levers of power being wielded by anyone who swears allegiance to a Political Party over his own flesh and blood brings flashbacks to all the war and horror of the 20th Century, where collectivist governments managed to kill in excess of 230 million citizens worldwide in their pursuit of the “Party Ideal” – weird Ed is no different. Built from a Fabian mould, educated at the school of Politically Correct, Ed has been placed in this position by the very people we spent a century trying to destroy.
Which brings me suitably to my next topic.
What on EARTH are we going to do about Katie Hopkins?
Now, on a personal level, I find her a little too near the Thatcher model – all for freedoms as long as she is the one telling us all what to do, but it’s been quite a week/month/year. She is certainly drawing enemy fire. At my count, she has now been reported to the police for offending (usually by some offended on someone else’s behalf proxy) the following:
the Scots – by calling them “Jocks”
the Disabled – by calling a stripper with no anus an arsehole
Fat bastards – by calling them fat
Suicidal Murdering Nutcases – for calling them suicidal murdering nutcases
And finally, this week, the best of the best, she has been reported to the Police for “race hate” by the most duplicitous, sanctimonious and hypocritical bastard I can think of; the MP for Rochdalistan (Rape Central) Simon Danczuk. I repeat, reported to the Police for pointing out to Simon that Muslim men of Pakistani origin did an awful lot of raping of underage girls in the very constituency he was happily celebrating a crescent flag waving, grinning Pakistan Day with earlier this week.
If that wasn’t enough, the oily bastard decided to fire up a tweet pointing out that as far as he is concerned, our free speech is not a right, just a mere privilege that could be taken away at any time – by him and the Parliament he represents. Words fail me. “Je suis Charlie” indeed.
You might not like Brand Katie, you might not agree with all she has to say, but for the future of this country and all our children, you’d better defend her right to damn well say it before the man who puts Party ahead of family and the votes of his Pakistani constituents before the rights and freedoms millions died defending just 70 years ago take over the reins of power.