Sexism Against Men Does Exist

I don’t want to undermine or ignore the fact that sexism against women pervades all aspects of society: it still exists in education, employment, politics, domestic life and in every day social situations. It is worth stressing that the gender pay gap, the idea that men earn more for the same work, is largely a myth; as this article explains. This is due to flaws in the methodology behind the statistics, which leads to a misinterpretation of the data – this article also explains why this is the case. On the other hand, it does turns out that male bonuses are double those of women and most CEO positions do tend to be occupied by men.

The 'gender pay gap' is largely a myth
The ‘gender pay gap’ is largely a myth

Women are also highly under-represented in politics which means that women’s issues are probably not as high up on the agenda as they should be. Many women also have to deal with the unnerving abuse (both verbal and physical) that stems from male dominance. According to current government statistics, last year 1.2 million women suffered domestic abuse, over 400,000 women were sexually assaulted, 70,000 women were raped and countless women are stalked in a threatening manner on a daily basis. Bear in mind that this still leaves out all of the unreported cases of violence and abuse that women become victims of.

Forced marriages and grooming gangs are another way young women are at serious risk, but due to ‘cultural sensitivity’ and the wish not to offend, these issues are brushed under the carpet again and again. Certain legislation exists to tackle these pressing issues and others – The Female Genital Mutilation Act 2003 aims to crack down on female circumcision procedures done overseas, whilst the updated Protection from Harassment Act 1997 aims to protect women against stalking which causes for fear of violence or distress. The government has also recently published an action plan, entitled A Call to End Violence against Women and Girls (March 2013), the objective of which is to correct the fact that half of the population (women) face the threat of violence and abuse from the other half of the population (men).

Stereotyping, discrimination, subjugation, trauma and suffering is a horrifying reality for many women across the globe. Feminism, in its liberal and less radical form, has achieved a lot in terms of establishing equal rights for women, and it is a movement which should at all times be heard and encouraged in its cause. The point that does need stressing, however, is that because sexism against women is so pervasive and is committed by men, and because feminism is such a powerful force in society, sexism against men often gets ignored completely.


In regards to the statistics on rape, last year 9,000 men became victims of this horrible crime (committed mostly by men, not women). This is far less than the number of women who are raped each year, but it is still an issue lacks the deserved attention. There are posters warning women about the risks of rape (i.e. about how not to get too drunk, to be careful about their drinks being spiked, to not get into unmarked taxis etc.) but where are the posters for men? Might it not make even more sense if there were gender-neutral warning posters? I do think that women should be a bit more careful and vigilant than men do when it comes to these types of situations. However, the lack of awareness about male rape victims (partly due to under-reporting) and the lack of an appropriate response to this problem, I think, does help to strengthen the stereotype that all men are violent, dominating, controlling, insensitive, potential rapists, and incapable of being victims themselves.

Rape can be just as traumatising for a man as for a woman – depression, anxiety, shame and fear can follow in a similar manner. But what’s worse is that because many men may feel emasculated following the incident, they are too ashamed to report it to the police, or even tell anyone for that matter. It is quite likely, then, that the number of men raped each year is much higher. The stereotype that men should be powerful and protective may lead many male rape victims to feel a deep sense of guilt for having been over-powered and violated by someone else. Men can of course be raped and sexually assaulted by women as well – it is completely discriminatory to say that a man cannot be raped by a woman. Rape, defined as the act of sexual intercourse forced upon someone else, is gender-neutral. The fact that a man has an erection during the experience is irrelevant; it has nothing to do with whether the man consents or not. No still means no.

Shouldn't there be rape posters for men? Or gender-neutral posters?
Shouldn’t there be rape posters for men? Or gender-neutral posters?

Relating to this point, cases of domestic violence against men by women (or men) are under-reported and are always taken less seriously than cases of domestic violence against women by men. The men’s group Parity, published a report called Domestic Violence: The Men’s Perspective (2010). Their analysis of Home Office statistics revealed that each year, on average, 40% of cases of domestic abuse involve a woman attacking their male partner (if we assume that most relationships are heterosexual). This is somewhat surprising, given the widespread impression that it is always women who are battered and bruised by their boyfriend or husband.

John Mays, of Parity, argues that men are treated as second-class citizens in this respect – the police do not take them seriously and their plight is overlooked by the media, official reports and government policy. This striking disparity is also demonstrated by the fact that there are 7,500 refugee places for female victims of domestic abuse, but a mere 60 for men. This unequal provision of support stems from the fact that a man is a man, and not a woman. It is not coincidental; it is sexist. Mays also commented that the official figures most likely underestimate the true numbers of male victims; as he says, “Culturally it’s difficult for men to bring these incidents to the attention of the authorities. Men are reluctant to say that they’ve been abused by women, because it’s seen as unmanly and weak.” As with the subject of rape, these men are forced to be embarrassed about the violence or psychological abuse inflicted on them, and are unwilling to seek out justice as a result, because this myopic stereotype of masculinity still exists.


On a societal and cultural level, the average person will castigate a man immediately if there is even the suggestion that he has harmed his wife or girlfriend. But the reverse is not true. Now I wouldn’t normally use The Jeremy Kyle Show as supporting evidence, but I’ll make an exception in this case. In this particular segment, Jezza talks to a woman who beats her fiancé and at one point broke his nose. Now when she details the way that she attacks him, by head-butting him or hitting him with a frying pan, the audience is not booing and hissing as they would be if the gender roles were reversed. Jezza, on this one occasion I would say, made the valid point that domestic violence is domestic violence – gender makes no difference.

This sexist attitude towards violence exists on another level – if, for example, a woman were to attack a man out in public and the man defended himself by hitting her back (if necessary), people would be disgusted with his behaviour. Why? Because he is physically stronger than her? Well, there are plenty of women who are far stronger than some men. But in any case, if this same man was attacked by a weaker man, and defended himself by punching him, there would not be anywhere near the same level of shock and revulsion as with a woman. This is one more way in which the stereotype of man as the aggressor, and woman as the aggressed and innocent victim, plays out in society. The image of man as the aggressor also explains why men are more likely to be conscripted into the military than women are.

Fathers 4 Justice campaigners
Fathers 4 Justice campaigners

Another way in which men are discriminated against is in the family courts, such as when it comes to having custody over children. The campaign group Fathers 4 Justice are committed to establishing equal parenting rights. In most parts of the world, custody laws show an unfair and clearly favourable bias towards women. David Benatar, author of The Second Sexism, points out that when the man is the primary care-giver his chances of winning custody are lower than when the woman is the primary care-giver. Ensuring that fathers have an equal right to see their children should be fought for on the basis of equality alone; but it should also be promoted as a way to prevent fatherlessness in the UK – 1 in 3 children in the UK currently live without a father in their lives.

The fact that men are constantly losing custody of their children, whilst women are pretty much guaranteed custody of them, only helps to perpetuate the prejudice that men are incapable of providing emotional support, nurturing and love. Child Support legislation also discriminates against men on the basis of their gender – it assumes that fathers are needed to provide financial support to their children and nothing else. Furthermore, the labelling of dads as ‘deadbeats’ is just lazy and ignorant.

Paternity leave in the UK is hugely unequal and sexist in this regard. Fathers in the UK are entitled to take just two weeks’ paternity leave, whilst mothers are granted up to one year of maternity leave. This ‘unequal sharing of caring’ marginalises the role of fathers and denies them the opportunity to take an equal share in the role of parenting. It is a piece of legislation which further perpetuates the stereotype of man as breadwinner and woman as carer. Perhaps the terms ‘maternity leave’ and ‘paternity leave’ should be scrapped altogether in favour of the gender-neutral ‘parental leave’. The mother and father could then flexibly share ‘parental leave’, depending on their circumstances, and there wouldn’t be a legislative assumption about the woman having to take on the entire task of raising a child.


Men’s health issues are also undermined and over-shadowed by women’s health issues. Prostate cancer is the second most common cause of cancer death for men in the UK, with over 40,000 new cases diagnosed each year. This is around the same number of women who get breast cancer ever year (48,000), yet breast cancer awareness, advertising and campaigning seem to receive far more attention than does prostrate cancer. Breast cancer research receives far more funding than prostate cancer research as well.

The Samaritans’ Suicide Statistics Report (2013) shows that men are on average 3-5 times more likely to commit suicide than women. Suicide is in fact the biggest killer of young men in the UK. The reasons why the suicide rate is higher for men than for women is partly due to cultural stereotypes, I think. First of all, there is a lot of pressure on men to be financially successful, providers and breadwinners, so that when a man faces unemployment, this may affect him much more deeply than it may affect a woman. However, I think a stronger factor is men not speaking up about the emotional turmoil, stress, anxieties and depression they may be experiencing. This again could be influenced by male stereotypes. Many men may not want to seek out help for their mental health problems because they associate the mental health problem, and the desire to seek help from others, as a sign of weakness and failure as a ‘man’.

Another men’s issue which is not seriously challenged is male circumcision. The Prohibition of Female Circumcision Act 1985 makes it a criminal offence in the UK to excise or mutilate any part of a girl’s genitals, or to assist in any such procedure. A loophole existed in this Act which meant that girls in the UK could be taken abroad to a country where female genital mutilation (FGM) is not illegal and so could be performed. The Female Genital Mutilation Act 2003 attempts to close this loophole by making it a criminal offence for a UK national or permanent resident to have this procedure done on a girl overseas. (For more background and details about these Acts).

Why isn't male circumcision banned?
Why isn’t male circumcision banned?

Yet why is there not a similar law protecting male infants from genital mutilation? Admittedly, male circumcision is far more common in the Jewish and Muslim tradition than female circumcision is, but this does not justify this kind of gender discrimination. Male circumcision is still genital mutilation and I’m sure it can cause as much pain and for a male as for a female. Admittedly, the removal of the clitoris would reduce the ability to experience sexual pleasure more in a female than would the removal of a male’s foreskin. But I still think that, unless the procedure is medically necessary, mutilating the genitals of a newborn infant, regardless of their gender, should be viewed as an ugly and abhorrent practice. The child’s rights and its interest not to be harmed should not disappear as soon as gender enters into the equation. FGM can be far more gruesome and disgusting than its male counterpart, so I can understand why there is a heightened sensitivity to the issue. Nevertheless, I don’t think the law should discriminate – it should be illegal to mutilate the body of any non-consenting minor.

This article was not meant in any way to devalue the feminist movement and the campaign for women’s full equality in every area in which it is missing. I also understand that women face far more discrimination than men do. Nevertheless, I thought that it was important to highlight sexism against men and bring men’s issues to the surface in order to show how full human equality is still a long way off in the UK. I hope that these cases of discrimination against men also coincide with the philosophy of most forms of feminism: that gender is an irrelevant and arbitrary distinction to be made between people.


  1. Women have always been able to abuse men and get away with it. Makes me apathetic about violence against women. Feminist equality is just a lot of bullshit.
    If women really had to face equality they couldn’t stand it.

  2. In the UK..

    Men are today still having to retire years later than women,

    Men are still dying years younger than women,

    Men overwhelmingly still do the most dangerous jobs in society,

    Men suffer around 95% of workplace deaths

    Men are discriminated against by NHS gender based funding with 8 times as much money spent on specific female health issues as on male ones.

    Men are around 9 times more likely to be rough sleepers than women,

    Men make up around 95% of people imprisoned in the UK

    Men are 2 to 3 times more likely to be imprisoned than comparable female offenders

    Male suicide rates are on average 3-5 times higher than female rates

    Family courts award mothers sole custody in 71% of cases and fathers sole custody in 7% of all cases

    Men can end up paying for a kid they never wanted and never see for 21 years as a result of one night’s mistake

    There are very few refuge places available for men who have experienced domestic abuse

  3. Much the same way that the truth comes to light under close scrutiny for the issue of the mythical gender pay gap, so too do most other issues of perceived discrimination. The very idea that ‘women are/were oppressed’ is laughable if you actually look at the role and status of women since the beginning of the 13th century. It is more rightly described as ‘women were/are inconvenienced’.
    The self-sacrifice expected of men (all men) for the benefit of women is so ingrained that it’s invisible. But that doesn’t make it any less sexist.
    The feminist movement is only about ‘equality’ for women. That’s rubbish. Just another way of saying increasing power for women. Remeber that catchy feminist phrase “make men equal to women!” … No? Well, that might be a telling example of trivializing both men’s issues/rights and women’s power. Never heard of trivialization by exclusion? Now you have, I suggest you familiarize yourself with the concept.
    I won’t deny that women felt rightly left out in many circumstances in the post industrial world and that advances in rights and freedoms are a good thing. But the feminist movement, even from the Declaration of Sentiments, has been about blaming men and increasing power for women. Increasing personal freedom is a great thing, and it should have been something for everyone, not just women. Children, youths, men, atheists, and scientists are all falling behind in terms of personal freedoms.
    Do I blame feminism for that lack? Of course I do. Replace ‘women’ with ‘everyone’ and we wouldn’t have the gender disparity that we have now in countless walks of life. Replace ‘feminism’ with ‘humanism’ and you have a truly worthwhile social movement, instead of an emotionally charged victim ideology.

  4. I agree. I’m a girl, but I’ve often noticed the unfair treatment of boys is more prevalent than that of girls in my school and generally my community. I remember teachers telling boys that they should never hit girls instead of don’t hit people. The punishments are more strict for guys, too. Usually, if a male and a female student are doing the same thing the female gets off more easily. I’m in eighth grade and when I was in sixth grade a girl took videos of the other girls changing in the locker room with her small camera phone and she was caught. She was suspended for two weeks. A boy one grade up for the same thing got expelled. They both had clear track records. I was repulsed by both, but I still thing the punishment should have been the same.

  5. I absolutely agree that violence and sexual violence committed by any gender against any gender must be addressed. However, rape prevention videos these days focus on men as perpetrators rather than advising on women’s behaviour and clothing. There’s a reason for this; women get raped whatever their age, dress or situation. In fact as I’m sure you know many rapes take place within marriage.
    Before you compare and contrast abuse against women with abuse against men, you’d benefit from educating yourself about rape myths.

    • no one is saying that men don’t get raped by women. We should all know that it is never the survivor’s fault. However, the fact the men do get raped is totally over looked in the media, and the media focuses on how women are the victims and how men are the perpetrators, I have seen plenty of posters and adverts stating statistics of women rape and help lines for them, but I haven’t seen any for men, ever. They should be gender neutral and should apply to people of all ages, and don’t see what is so wrong with expecting that.

      • It’s also worth noting that the legal definition of rape only covers forced penetration. If a woman forces herself onto a man it isn’t legally rape. It’s considered sexual assault, but not rape, so it’s not surprising that statistics say there are more male rapists than female and that most rapes of males are committed by other males. I’ve seen articles saying that when women who made men penetrate them are considered rapists, there are almost equal numbers of female and male rapists.

  6. Great article Sam. Measured, considerate and needed to be highlighted. Can’t just focus on one gender’s problems whilst neglecting the other’s.

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