“The Brexit te Deum” (A Parody on the Te Deum laudamus)

With the meeting at Chequers apparently over, with some sort of agreement reached, we can only wait and see the response from the Backbenchers and EU. The noise from business appears positive at least, but i have a feeling not all within the cabinet it what it appears: but then, ministers will do anything to keep their posts, as Boris’s failure to resign despite his ‘red lines’ being crossed proves. In the meantime, I present a parody on the Te Deum, adapted to the present occasion from a pamphlet by William Hone (1780-1842).

“The Brexit te Deum”

There shall be read distinctly, with an audible voice, the Leading Article of the Daily Mail, (except there be other LESSONS appointed by The Sun for that Day:) be that readeth, so standing and turning himself, as he may best be heard of all such as are present. And after that, shall be said or sung, in English, daily throughout the week, as followeth:

Te Deum Laudamus.

We praise thee O Brexit, we acknowledge thee to be the will of the people.
All the Brexiteers doth worship thee: the vote-winner everlasting.

To thee all Tories cry aloud: the Treasury, and all the Clerks therein.
To thee Pensioners and ‘Leavers’: continually do cry,
Brexit, Brexit, Brexit: from thee our power floweth.
Eton-toffs and Lords are full of thy virtues.
The glorious company of Tim Martin: praise thee.
The goodly fellowship of Jacob Rees-Mogg: praise thee.
The meagre membership of the tories: praise thee.
The sycophants throughout all the nation: doth acknowledge thee,
The Saviour of an expiring Ministry.
Thou art the Trick of Tricks: O Brexit.
Thou art the everlasting prop: of the Ministry.
When they took upon them to call thy referendum: they did not abhor the public shame.
When they lied, duped and distained the Truth: thou didst open the Kingdom to a legion of new deceivers.
We believe that thou art a pretext: for Boris’s plan.
We therefore pray thee help the Clown of Westminster: but bend not unto his will for the sake of our nation.
O Brexit, save the Ministry: for thou alone art Cameron’s heritage.

Keep the Brexiteers in parliament: and they will call thee glorious for ever.
Day by day: the Mail doth magnify thee;
And it worshippeth thy name: every morning without end.
Vouchsafe, O Brexit: to keep us this year without immigration.
O Brexit, have mercy upon us: thy miserable subjects.
O Brexit, keep the EU afar from us: as our trust is in thee.
O Brexit, in thee have we trusted: let the Remoners for ever be confounded.

[Here endeth the Brexit te Deum.]



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