I need you to promise me one thing, dear readers. Once you have read this article, you will delete your browser history and deny all knowledge of my very existence. Failure to do so will cause you endless problems in the not too distant future, for we are all about to become criminals.
For a while now, our masters and a raft of self-appointed non-elected Internet Police have been baying for the opportunity to silence dissent on Social Media – the CPS became so inundated with requests for prosecution from our totally honest and trustworthy boys in blue that they had to issue guidelines to the hoards of offended shitpuffins constantly ringing their local police to complain that someone had called them a tosser on the Internet and when would they be arrested?
It’s made little difference. Despite veritable raft loads of applicable laws already existing to deal with genuine harassment and threatening behaviour, “something must be done” about all this free speech on the Internet. The Erdoganisation of Social Media is underway. Not one Government has imposed sanctions on the authoritarianism of Erdogan as he blocked Youtube and Twitter. No screams from the UN or the EU, no demands for “consequences” from the rabble currently trying to create a new cold war over Crimea, just studious admiration of a “global leader” happy to shut down criticism and dissent amongst the masses. Erdogan’s methods are leading the way in the latest attempt to silence us all.
Whilst we in the UK jail Twitter subversives (as indeed, do the Saudis), the demands for MORE censorship from the terminally offended are reaching fever pitch. We are ALL trolls now – and we must all be silenced. 52% of us are already afraid to write down our opinions publicly – yes, in a “free country where you can say what you like” the majority are now too intimidated to speak freely. How proud our ancestors must be of us. We celebrate their glorious sacrifices every November; yet cower in fear of those who would silence our thoughts via the already bloated legal system. We sit silently muttering under our breath whilst the hypocrisy and corruption of Modern Britain overwhelms us – terrified of being held to account for our thoughts or views.
The Offendotrons are quietly raising armies to ensure that no message other than theirs is documented for posterity – they demand the deletion of words written on a screen instead of publicly burning books or witches like the good old days. They stand like Brown Shirts in the comments sections of our media waiting to instruct solicitors or prosecutors of our vile sentiments. Burn the heretics, silence the dissenters, and imprison the troublemakers.
The Offendotrons are quietly raising armies to ensure that no message other than theirs is documented.
Sorry guys, not this one. It’s no great secret that I am happy to physically relocate to continue my critique of all things foul and evil amongst us. I won’t be silenced by the new fast track legislation to stop us writing on toilet walls – if you are an imbecile, I reserve the right the right to tell you and anyone who will listen of your misdeeds and hypocrisy. And I’m happy to risk imprisonment to do so – my ancestors would expect nothing less of me.
Bring it on, fools. Order your water cannons, arm your police, legislate against Social Media and muzzle the Press all you like. It won’t make one iota of difference; the power balance is changing in our favour. If you don’t like what we write about you, don’t give us cause to write it.